Going Slowly
It's taken three years to complete Dreamland. During that time there have been lots of twists and turns, ups and downs, triumphs and failures. Three years of life has surrounded the creation of this album.
I started recording this album because I felt desperate to get music released as fast as I possibly could. I felt like I was "falling behind" because I wasn't releasing music quickly enough. I wasn't creating "content" fast enough. I needed to make more recordings, more frequently.
In today's society there is an unbelievable pressure to constantly command attention. Content creation is the new game. If you listen to guys like Gary Vee long enough you'll believe that you need to be creating 900 pieces of content every day. The pressure to keep up with the demands of social media is very real. For a long time I felt like a failure in this regard. Sometimes I would post constantly. Other times I wanted to retreat and escape from the platforms for awhile.
The ultimate challenge in the internet economy is that content creation almost becomes its own vocation. At the end of the day I just want to make music, and have that music impact as many people as possible. I am not doing this because I want to be an instagram influencer. But the price of admission seems to be social media mastery. Yet, seeking constant social validation is a recipe for disaster when working on creative projects. Social media can be a slippery slope. If comparison is the thief of joy, social media is lock pick set.
The last three years of my life have been volatile. Many obstacles have been thrown in the way of finishing this album. So I allowed myself to work on this album slowly. I started it with the intention of finishing it as fast as possible. But this only put incredible pressure on me. I would constantly criticize myself because I wasn't recording the album fast enough. I wasn't making it happen. I wasn't hustling.
The truth is, I was hustling. I was just managing a lot. I was working a demanding job (and still am). I was managing family obligations. I was dealing with relationship issues. And I was also trying to enjoy life a little.
Dreamland kept nagging at me. It kept taunting me from the back-burner. It was this unfinished project that no one was waiting for, but it still mattered to me. I wanted to finish it. I wanted to put it out into the world. So I kept returning to it. Each time I would inch closer to my goal. But for so long that goal felt as if it would never be completed. As each year passed I felt like a failure. Every New Year's Day would be a reminder of another year that I hadn't released any new music. It chipped away at my resolve.
Going slowly on a project you deeply care about is not for the faint of heart. It is agonizingly tedious, and painstakingly discouraging. Crawling toward the finish line is a great way to feel awful about yourself during most of the race. In a world of instant gratification, working on your dreams slowly is so hard that many of us choose not to do it at all.
To be honest I'm sure where I found the drive to keep working on Dreamland. The only thing I can think of is that I simply love to make music. I love being in a studio. I love creating new things. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. It brings my soul alive. The creation of Dreamland has been pure fun. The joy of creating kept me coming back for more. Day by day, week after week, month after month, year after year, we inched toward finishing it, until eventually the day arrived when it was done.
This album has documented the first few years of me moving to Austin. I moved to Austin in 2017 and began working on Dreamland shortly after. These songs encapsulate a time when I was dreaming about the future, and wondering what this mystical music city held in store for me. Throughout it all these songs were my solace and escape.
I’m not here to say that going slowly is better than going fast. It’s agonizing.
But I will say that going slowly is better than not going at all.
It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop
-Confucius